A Few Thoughts from the Patient

I've asked Terri to show me how to post to this blog. Maybe I'll figure it out after surgery while I have lots of down time. For now, she is excerpting from a couple of messages I sent to various friends over the course of the summer while processing the news of cancer and waiting for the surgery date. I hope you can appreciate how God has been directing my thoughts and giving an indescribable peace.

Here is what I shared with my Friday morning Harper group:

The one “God” thing that impressed upon me on our visit to Duke back in June was that no one there said they “were sorry that we had cancer.” Yes, they deal with cancer on a daily basis, yet their attitude was one of welcome, we will take care of you, and we are here to serve you. The staff told us what they are going to do and told us what we need to do. As I was walking into the clinic that day, I was praying that God would help me be the best that I could be in what I was to hear and what I needed to do. I was going to make it easy on the staff to do their jobs. I knew this was for His glory, His purpose, and a reflection of His love for me.

God the Father, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit never says that they are sorry. They knew what was happening before I did. They are not surprised, and they don't need a “silent moment” to gather their thoughts. They are there with open arms ready to welcome me and take care of me. God is not apologizing to me that I have cancer and the obstacles that it creates for me, my family, and my friends. He has made no mistake and is fully involved with all the details. I have been reading in Romans a lot over the last couple of months, also a couple of books, and I seem to be drawn to that God of peace Who is and the truth that He has set me free from worry if I only would live like He promises. To trust Him to know that tribulations lead to hope and peace.

And here's part of an email I sent to my community group:

Today I got to speak with a dear brother. Life has caused us to drift apart from each other, but now we share the common thread of prostate cancer. The phone call was quite powerful, and I showed more emotion and passion than ever before on the life impact of knowing I have cancer.

There have been some amazing “God” moments where He shows himself so very clearly, so powerful, so reassuring, and so full of grace and love, yet this 30-minute phone conversation may be the top lesson and blessing that God had planned for me through this experience. As this brother has struggled in his recovery, he has shared that struggle with others, and they in turn have shared theirs. This keeps him focused on God and not himself. Through our conversation, we kept going back to how God is in the midst of it all.