It was wonderful! Everything I had expected, yet in some ways not fully what I had hoped for. Reassuring, but somehow still tinged with uncertainty.
My mommy heart runneth over today after a short visit home from child #3, one-half of my nineteen-year-old twins who moved out several weeks ago to two separate universities. It was his first visit home, and it barely exceeded twenty-four hours, but it was so good to see his face in person. FaceTime and Instagram uploads are a sorry substitute for one-on-one, face-to-face interaction.
I knew the time would seem too short. That's the way nearly every day had felt while their senior year was gaining speed and escaping our grip. Or was it just my grip? Looking back now, how did we let the hours of those last few years at home be packed so full of so many things that meaningful dialog often fell victim to the merciless time squeeze? It's on that backdrop (hints of regret, moments lost, missed opportunities) that I had hoped for one of those rare, life-defining kind of conversations this weekend. It didn't happen.
But what did happen was the making of a great first-time-home memory. There were relaxed moments with my son and his three new best friends, filled with covering all the usual, first-meeting subjects. There was a thrilling win for his college's still-unbeaten football team in double OT, while we sat shivering in the bleachers because none of us planned our wardrobes very well. There was the Sunday morning Koffee Kake fail, which all four of them consumed without hesitation, but only halfway convinced it tasted as amazing as the unadulterated version. (Check out the recipe here, but beware: Don't try it if you're planning to use emergency-substituted buttermilk for the evaporated milk called for in the recipe!) There was late-night Survivor watching. There were smiles and laughs at every turn.
After church and lunch as the kids (I'm invoking something from the Mother's Bill of Rights to still call them "kids" until they finish at least one full year of college) piled back in the car and pulled out of the driveway, I found a sense of comfort in having met his friends and sharing such a pleasant weekend. I felt satisfied and reassured that he has made good friends this quickly. Friends who seem to live up to their billing. I may never fully be rid of that all-too-familiar niggling of doubt, but for now there is a peace.
I will continue to pray for him every day. And now I have three new names and faces in my mind's eye as I pray for his friends, too.
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